I have so much to say about how great this year has been. How wonderful it feels to have an idea of what I am doing each day. To understand a few ways to get kids to do actual work. To not be panicked when someone walks into my room to observe me. To have more fun with the kids( who are so, so incredible) then to be stressing over them.
NBC is spending this week discussing Public School systems in our nation, and the things we could improve. I could spend thousands of blog entries talking about what I think is going wrong and how I think we could improve it. But I don't choose to focus my energy just on that. I'd rather focus on the students for right now. I'll tackle all the rest of that stuff later.
Today though, they had a Teacher Town Hall meeting. I watched all of it and agreed and disagreed with everything they talked about. But they also showed this clip of a Dateline from a 2005, that followed a first year teacher.
(that was the best I could do!)
It was odd to me how quickly I could remember all those horrible feelings. About caring so much, but not really making an impact. Of not knowing what to do or how to get something across in your class. The feeling of having less control, and of being emotional all the time.
Watching the video, was very emotional for me and afterwards the comments from Brian Williams and the other teachers, made me even more emotional.
They focused on the passion they saw from her as a first year teacher and the desire to teach those kids. I often forget that in 2005, when this was made, teaching had never crossed my mind. But in the fall of 2006 and into 2007, teaching became something that weighed heavily on my mind. I was unsure if it was the right path.
Throughout these past 2 years, and even when I began my observations in someone else's class, that doubt has been erased. I feel now that I could never see my life without a career in education in it. Whether it's teaching, or something else- I hope that no day goes by without a student in it (ok.. unless it's summer!)
Sometimes it's hard to think of teaching as a calling, a desire, or a career you are drawn to. But that is 100% how I feel. Whether or not my best is enough is always playing out on my mind. But never once is the idea that I have chosen the wrong path, or that I was not mean to do this, crossed my mind.
What a lucky girl I am.
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