Sometimes you just have to walk away.

I lost a student.

No, I did not lose a student on a fire drill or in the middle of class. And no, don't worry I did not lose a student in the worst kind of way- as far as I know all of my students are perfectly happy and healthy.

Instead, I lost a student to Ohio.

The student moved a week into this semester. He was not my favorite student. He slept a lot in class and had a REALLY atrocious attitude right before Christmas break. He told me several times before the break that he was moving to Ohio during the break and school didn't matter.

The school counselor sent an email that she had called his mom and there were no plans of moving over the break but it might happen later. In a way I was excited to show him a taste of how bad he had treated his teachers before Christmas break. My own sort of revenge against a student.

But he came back and I forgot to be mean. And then he was great. Like a whole new kid in class. Always participating, polite and giving so much effort.

When he moved, I didn't think much of it. I've had other students move. But for the last two weeks- I've been running across papers that still have his name on it or boxes for me to fill in his grades. I have to admit I've been pretty bummed. I feel like he made so much progress and now it's wasted on a language arts teacher in Ohio. And I don't get to see any more of the great student he was becoming.

On Friday, one of my biggest challenges is moving. The student who has probably caused me the most problems all year long. I think losing this student is going to be a lot tougher than the last.

new show.

I will admit that I watch more MTV than the average 23 year old ought to.

I will also admit that most of the shows on MTV, and especially the shows I watch, are horrible televsion.

With all that being said, this still looks pretty good-

(200) Days of Coffee Filters

When I first moved into my apartment and began working I bought coffee filters. For the coffee that I drink every morning that I go to work. There are 200 coffee filters sold in a package.

In my mind, I made a big deal about when the coffee filters ending. Because after that, I will have been working, as an adult, for 200 days. 200 days of working in an adult job sounds like a long time. Like after 200 days of working I would feel and act like a real adult. With a real adult job.

The package of coffee filters end tomorrow. The verdict is still out on whether I feel like a real adult or not.

I would also REALLY like to see this movie:

It's called a break-up because it's broken.

Over winter break I spent some time with my camp friends, including the AMAZING Michael Goodman. We were discussing a mutual friend who seemed to be going through something. One thing about Goody is that he is every one's sounding board. If anyone has a problem they go to him. And he offers great advice and makes you cry and laugh, and life seems better. When we discussed the recent mood changes in our mutual friend he said something that has stuck with me for a 2 weeks. He said, "They're just having a hard time breaking up with college."

I feel like I've been having a hard time breaking up with college, too. I loved college. I still love college. I liked the schedule, all the people, the busy schedule, I even LIKED going to class and learning new things.There were always events and always people to go with. And now a lot of that is gone.

Here are the 6 Stages of a Break-Up (College Edition):

Stage 1 - Time heals everything: It's normal to have low self-esteem when someone you love leaves you.

This was the first month and a half of teaching. When I had NO clue what I was doing, no idea what they talked about in any of the meetings I went to. I didn't have that same confidence I did in all my college classes or with my college friends. In most faculty meetings or even conversations, I felt like the little kid sitting at the big kids table. College had left me, no actually I left college.. and was in a whole new world.

Stage 2 - Feelings of denial: At this stage, you will probably call your ex many times to question whether the relationship is truly over, or whether there is still a chance that your relationship can be salvaged.

I hit this stage around October, when I went back to College Station for the first time. I remembered all those old feelings of being in college and acting like I didn't have any responsibilities. And then tried to pretend that I was still a college student, with only some minor adult responsibilities. This did not work out well with me.

Stage 3 - Take time off: A lot of people try to rebuild their new broken fragile ego by dating again too soon after a breakup. Stop! You'll only end up damaging yourself even more, as well as the person you are dating.

Late October/Early November- I can pretend to be a UT college student right? I know I don't go to school there, but I can dress up like them, hang out with their students and get the same feelings as being an A&M student all over again. Right? Wrong. And UT doesn't need another fake fan anyways, they have plenty of those.

So I took some time off of my job and of missing college- it was two weeks of Christmas break. Which sadly only added a whole new level of confusion to this break-up. Two weeks off was just like the beginning of Christmas break off during college. Lots of days of sleeping in, being lazy, and that feeling of not worrying about anything. This did not help the break-up stages at all.

Stage 4- Socialize: Meet a lot of new people. Use this time to improve relations with old friends, network, and make new friends. A well-balanced life will lessen the impact of a breakup, because you will still have the other aspects of your life intact, and improved.

I'm almost here... or maybe in the beginning stages. I'm trying to do new things, meet new people, see old friends and trying to get a new balance of being an adult and having a life. And not stop pretending like I'm still in college.

Stage 5- Fall in love: Eventually, as time passes, you will fall in love again. Make sure to let yourself fall in love, and take the time to really let your partner in your life. There is nothing better than a new flame to make you forget an old one.

I like my job, a lot. Sometime soon I will LOVE my job. Even more than I LOVED college.

Stage 6 - Don't set yourself up: Don't get carried away with this new found flame, remember nothing lasts forever and even this new relationship may not weather the test of time. Don't make this person the sole focus of your life, because if it doesn't workout, you'll find yourself right back at Stage 1.

I will take this wise advice and not fall too hard for teaching. I will prepare myself for the worst and hope for the best. But I have no plans of breaking up with teaching anytime soon- I am not ready for these stages. And why would I break up before we even made it to Stage 5? That seems silly.

i really enjoyed watching this.

http://www.latenightwithjimmyfallon.com/video/clips/saved-by-the-bell-reunion-update-3-6809/1121321/

digital cleanse.

This last week I read on John Mayer's twitter about the digital cleanse.

The first time I read through the idea and all the instructions, I thought that's stupid. It doesn't give up that many things that are "digital". But then, I couldn't stop thinking about it. I just kept wondering how hard it would be. And what about Facebook? John Mayer can't use Facebook at the same level or really at all, and for sure not as much as I do. Since Facebook wasn't really listed, I was unsure what to do about that. The more I thought about it, the more I Facebook would need to be on the list too. So following a disappointing birthday and even worse new years eve, I had my mom change my twitter and Facebook password, I took BOTH of the apps off of my brand new cell phone and am trying to be off of these sites for a week.

So here's my version of the digital cleanse.

Until Jan 8th at 9 AM I will:

-Not log onto Facebook

-Not read or post on Twitter

-Only respond to emails on an actual computer

-NOT SEND ANY TEXTS MESSAGES ( I can still read them, but if they need a reply I have to pick up the phone to do that)

John Mayer is doing no gossip sites or celebrity sites. Which I will say, I used to be addicted to. In my senior year of college I think I was checking Perez Hilton 5 times a day, at the very least. When I started working at camp last summer though, I didn't have time to check Perez and now only check it once a month but find it too hard to keep up with. I do read People online sometimes and don't really think of it as a big deal. So I'm not going to stop that.

So far... I thought not texting would KILL me. It really hasn't been that bad yet. I haven't called anyone back who has texted me- but no one has seemed to mind so far.

I don't really miss Facebook or twitter, but instead have had a hard time trying to fill up the time that it usually takes. Especially since I am still on Christmas break and don't have a ton of things going on. Usually I allow Facebook to take up so much of my time but instead I have had to find things to fill this gap.

And I have:

-done some arts and crafts

-almost finished reading the book I brought home to read over break (but in all fairness I stopped reading it because I was distracted by an even better book)

-watched a lot of TV... WITH my parents.

I have not watched any TV on the actual television in my room. Just a few episodes online on my computer. But I have spent a lot of time being with my parents, while watching their TV.

- Downloaded new things to my phone

-Read a lot of fashion blogs

-played a lot of games on my phone

and now written this blog!

I'm anticipating more productivity from this Digital Cleanse once I get back to Austin. Tomorrow. And start working. On Monday. And then through that whole week of teaching I will probably have nothing to do because of how productive I am. And as soon as Jan 8th hits I'll be back to my normal facebooking, twittering self.

but it is kind of nice to start the year with a new challenge. And a good way to evaluate how much time I really am spending on the Internet.

I wish I had written this..

But sadly I can't write songs. Or think in song lyric format, anyways. So I let John Mayer do it for me. This pretty much sums up how I feel the first 15 minutes into the big 2-3 birthday.

When my students asked how old I was, I said I was turning 138. They all agreed I looked good for my age. So here's to the big 1-3-8 or the big 2-3. Age is just a number, right?

No I'm not color blind
I know the world is black and white
Try to keep an open mind but
I just can't sleep on this tonight

Stop this train I want to get off and go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
But honestly won't someone stop this train

Don't know how else to say it, don't want to see my parents go
One generation's length away
From fighting life out on my own

Stop this train
I want to get off and go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't but honestly won't someone stop this train

So scared of getting older
I'm only good at being young
So I play the numbers game to find away to say that life has just begun
Had a talk with my old man
Said help me understand
He said turn 68, you'll renegotiate
Don't stop this train
Don't for a minute change the place you're in
Don't think I couldn't ever understand
I tried my hand
honestly we'll never stop this train

See once in a while when it's good
It'll feel like it should
And they're all still around
And you're still safe and sound
And you don't miss a thing
'til you cry when you're driving away in the dark.

Singing stop this train I want to get off and go home again
I can't take this speed it's moving in
I know I can't
Cause now I see I'll never stop this train