Education Nation

I have so much to say about how great this year has been. How wonderful it feels to have an idea of what I am doing each day. To understand a few ways to get kids to do actual work. To not be panicked when someone walks into my room to observe me. To have more fun with the kids( who are so, so incredible) then to be stressing over them.

NBC is spending this week discussing Public School systems in our nation, and the things we could improve. I could spend thousands of blog entries talking about what I think is going wrong and how I think we could improve it. But I don't choose to focus my energy just on that. I'd rather focus on the students for right now. I'll tackle all the rest of that stuff later.

Today though, they had a Teacher Town Hall meeting. I watched all of it and agreed and disagreed with everything they talked about. But they also showed this clip of a Dateline from a 2005, that followed a first year teacher.

Check out this great MSN Video: The education of Ms. Groves

(that was the best I could do!)

It was odd to me how quickly I could remember all those horrible feelings. About caring so much, but not really making an impact. Of not knowing what to do or how to get something across in your class. The feeling of having less control, and of being emotional all the time.

Watching the video, was very emotional for me and afterwards the comments from Brian Williams and the other teachers, made me even more emotional.

They focused on the passion they saw from her as a first year teacher and the desire to teach those kids. I often forget that in 2005, when this was made, teaching had never crossed my mind. But in the fall of 2006 and into 2007, teaching became something that weighed heavily on my mind. I was unsure if it was the right path.

Throughout these past 2 years, and even when I began my observations in someone else's class, that doubt has been erased. I feel now that I could never see my life without a career in education in it. Whether it's teaching, or something else- I hope that no day goes by without a student in it (ok.. unless it's summer!)

Sometimes it's hard to think of teaching as a calling, a desire, or a career you are drawn to. But that is 100% how I feel. Whether or not my best is enough is always playing out on my mind. But never once is the idea that I have chosen the wrong path, or that I was not mean to do this, crossed my mind.

What a lucky girl I am.

If I could write a letter to me....

I have been getting so (nervous? excited? pumped? apprehensive?) who knows- about the upcoming school year, that I've started doing some lesson planning.

The first unit deals with The Readers/Writers Notebook and I was trying to think of ways to get kids sort of excited about their writing and inspiration struck (Inspiration came in the form of googling "Writers Notebook Ideas")

But one idea was to have kids write a letter about themselves, and about their future year. And I have tons of ideas of how I want my students to write these letters, but that's not what I'm interested in writing about here . (and what if future students is reading this? I don't want to ruin the surprise! PSYCH- I don't really want future students or any students reading this)

SO to sort of kick this off I wrote a letter to my 7th Grade Self. Here it is.

Dear Abby,

7^th grade seems like it’s starting off so great. Your parents let you go to that N*sync Concert the night before your first day of school. You could of sworn Justin Timberlake, was looking right at you and your best friend Carmen. Who knew he would still be famous now?

This year might be rough for you- but on the bright side things will go waaay uphill. But not for a few more years, you have a lot to learn about yourself and the people around you.

My first piece of advice, is to think carefully of who your friends are. I know that Carmen, Rosa and you are inseperable right now. But ask yourself this question, did you get in more trouble before or after you started hanging out with them? They are good friends to have, but you can find even better friends, who will ALWAYS have your back.

My second piece of advice, is to TRY HARDER in school! You’re a pretty smart kid- but it’s hard to keep up with the other kids at your school. You probably will never get 100 in Algebra, and Mrs. Mika may never like your writing. But if you actually tried harder on your homework and paid more attention in class, you would start getting grades that you were proud of. And in the end, your opinion of yourself is the only thing that counts.

My last big piece of advice is this, WAKE UP. There are so many wonderful, amazing things around you all the time. It’s so easy to let all of them pass you by. Your brain is always somewhere else, and you never seem focused on what’s in front of you- only on what’s next. You are incredibly lucky, your parents aren’t so bad, and you’ve got so much to appreciate. And you will appreciate it, when you finally learn to notice it.

Here are a few minor pieces of advice, but pay attention they will help you now and when you’re older (like now!):

That guy is dumb, and is always playing games. Move on.

Spend less time online, and more time outside. Your happier when you aren't always in front of a screen!

Your parents really don’t want the worst for you, although it seems like it.

Be careful what you wish for, it won’t always come out the way you want it to.

Open your mind to new ideas and new things. New friends don’t mean their bad or worse than your other friends. It just means their new.

Always stay loyal, trusting and looking for the good in people. It is one of your best traits and can only take you farther.

If you know it’s wrong, don’t do it.

Good luck, and I promise things are always getting better!

Always,

Abby Green

PS: Take out those purple contacts, be happy with the eye color you have, it suits you.

Are You Lonely Looking for Yourself Out There? pt.2

... and I'm back for more. Here's the last five things that are making me happy!

5. Energy

This may be due to my workouts, or the fact that I've almost completely given up meat and am eating a lot more fresh foods- but who cares, I have so much more energy. When I come home at the end of the day I'm not dying for a nap. I also don't feel like the whole day at school is equal to running a marathon. And that is a Great Feeling.

4. Mrs. H and Mrs. L.

(this is what all teachers look like- sitting at their CLEAN desk, with an apple and smiling all the time)

... and well a lot of other teachers on my team(s). I have met some pretty awesome teachers, who have kept me going all year long. As the year has grown longer, I think our friendship has gone stronger. They help me with school and life. I like to call Mrs. H and Mrs. L my work mom's.. because who doesn't need more than one?

3. Reading

Since I've had a little more time to breathe lately, I have finally gotten back into reading for fun. I had forgotten how great it was to be involved in books and reading. Laura Bush was on Oprah the other day and they talked about how only children can really take to reading because it helps create their own world. I couldn't agree more. Currently on my shelf (0r in my bag, or on my desk, or in my car... or wherever I can read)

2. Great Friends

I have made great new friends in Austin and I am making more and more. I have great friends scattered around the country, too. It's a great feeling knowing there's so many potential friends out there and so many established friends right along with them.

1. The Future

I am counting down the days till the end of school (9) as excitement for a break and excitement for what's next. I feel like next year can only get better-with work, friends and just life in general. The real world has really started and I can't wait for it to get better and better.

The Last 8 Years of My Life, As Told Through My John Mayer Concerts

The Last 8 Years of My Life, As Told Through My John Mayer Concerts

(warning: this is long. take breaks if you need to)

Have these dreams I’m walking home/Home where it used to be

Everything is as it was/ Frozen in front of me

Park City, Utah

15 years old

I got to drive part of the way to my first John Mayer concert. I was about to be 16, about to start my sophomore year of high school and about to start a new school. I remember the concert was on a ski hill and we (my dad, my best friend Jessica and me) had driven 5 hours to see John Mayer. The mountain air in the summer is something I’ll never forget. With only 300 people there on that ski hill, it felt like we were all sharing the same secret. We all knew about John Mayer and loved his music before anyone else really did.

My dad had heard about JM somewhere and had told me how great this new artist was. I would never admit to liking anything my dad liked, and one day snuck into his office and stole the CD off of his desk, maybe even out of his CD player. I didn’t stop listening to it until he asked for it back. At the concert, I made my dad sit far away from Jessica and I. We stood up front and tried to act older and cooler, separated from a parent anything was possible. After the concert, my dad got us right up to the bus and said he would wait with us until John came out to talk to us. Even then my dad was cooler then I could have dreamed of being.

I wore a white t-shirt and jeans that laced up at the bottom. All I could think about and focus on was that next year of high school. I would finally be able to drive. I would finally get a car that gave me the ultimate freedom that I wanted so badly. But would I like the new school? Would the people there like me? I was relieved that I would have Jessica at my side on that first day of school.

Someday I’ll fly/Someday I’ll soar

Someday I’ll be so damn much more

Bozeman, Montana

17 years old

I had begged for John Mayer tickets for my birthday and my dad had agreed. We spent the whole weekend skiing together in Big Sky. My dad tried again to get us backstage but I didn’t want to press our luck. I had a fever but refused to leave or even sit down at a John Mayer concert.

I was a junior in high school and my 2 best friends were graduating that June. It seemed like my senior year was going to be lonely. I couldn’t stop thinking. What will I do without them? What will I do on the weekends? Who will I eat lunch with?

But my real inner voice, the one I spend so much time ignoring, was asking, “Who will you be without them?”

So scared of getting older/I’m only good at being young

So I play a numbers game to find a way to say that life has just begun

Austin, Texas

19 years old

I had spent all of fall semester looking forward to this concert. It was my first Austin City Limits trip and I was reunited with all my camp friends. The Contiuum CD had come out four days earlier and I had worked like crazy to have all those lyrics memorized. Any free moment I had, my iPod was on repeat; walking to class, studying, in my room, and on my drive to Austin all I could listen to was John.

I had just come back from my first full summer at camp and I was miserable at A&M. I didn’t want to be in the sorority, I didn’t want to be in my apartment and I didn’t want to be stuck in my major anymore. I had just started thinking about changing my major to education and kept flipping the idea over in my mind like a coin. Needless to say, it caused me a lot of angst and that John Mayer CD got me through a lot of it.

And if you never stop when you wave goodbye/ you just might find if you give it time that you just might wave hello again

San Antonio, Texas

20 years old

I asked my dad on a whim if he would take me to yet another John Mayer concert and he loyally said yes. I stood for the whole concert but it seemed like my heart, and john’s, weren’t totally in it. This was the first huge arena I had seen him in and things just weren’t the same.

I had just left camp for my 3^rd summer as a counselor and was about to embark on my first solo road trip. Camp had been great but something hadn’t been right. Things hadn’t clicked into place like they always do when I’m there. I had no idea that my whole idea of camp would change in just one short month. My favorite place in the world was destroyed in just a matter of hours. But that was all after the concert.

I was so nervous and excited about the road trip. I was about to go on a huge cross country road trip by myself. I knew I would get to see so much of the country, see my best friends from high school and learn so much about myself. I had to prove I could take this huge trip by myself and afterwards I felt like I had really grown up.

I’ve got a hammer/ and a heart of glass

I’ve got to know right now/which walls to smash

Austin, Texas

23 years old

This time I wasn’t just visiting the city where John was playing. I lived there; I have a life in Austin now. These were by far the worst seats I’ve ever had, and the most exhausted I've ever been. I sat down through the whole thing.

I wore a white t-shirt and jeans, but I was by no means the same as that 15 year old girl who saw John Mayer in the same outfit. This time when my dad said he wished he had been there, I was thinking how I wished he had been sitting next to me the whole time.

I was sitting what felt like miles away from John but my mind was even farther away, thinking about my students and school. I was upset with their grades and their reactions but I was more upset with myself. How have we almost made it through a whole year and I have not taught them the importance of turning things in on time? How can I fix this problem? How can I get parents on my side and instead of thinking their child is always right?

Now I'm free/ Free Fallin'

As I moved through all these concerts and all these song lyrics, all of my questions have gotten answered. I don’t know what my future questions will be or where they will take place, but I can only hope there will be more John Mayer concerts to help me mark time and see me through it.

This is what the inside of my brain looks like....

seriously. right now. and for every day until March 3rd.

Sometimes you just have to walk away.

I lost a student.

No, I did not lose a student on a fire drill or in the middle of class. And no, don't worry I did not lose a student in the worst kind of way- as far as I know all of my students are perfectly happy and healthy.

Instead, I lost a student to Ohio.

The student moved a week into this semester. He was not my favorite student. He slept a lot in class and had a REALLY atrocious attitude right before Christmas break. He told me several times before the break that he was moving to Ohio during the break and school didn't matter.

The school counselor sent an email that she had called his mom and there were no plans of moving over the break but it might happen later. In a way I was excited to show him a taste of how bad he had treated his teachers before Christmas break. My own sort of revenge against a student.

But he came back and I forgot to be mean. And then he was great. Like a whole new kid in class. Always participating, polite and giving so much effort.

When he moved, I didn't think much of it. I've had other students move. But for the last two weeks- I've been running across papers that still have his name on it or boxes for me to fill in his grades. I have to admit I've been pretty bummed. I feel like he made so much progress and now it's wasted on a language arts teacher in Ohio. And I don't get to see any more of the great student he was becoming.

On Friday, one of my biggest challenges is moving. The student who has probably caused me the most problems all year long. I think losing this student is going to be a lot tougher than the last.

It's called a break-up because it's broken.

Over winter break I spent some time with my camp friends, including the AMAZING Michael Goodman. We were discussing a mutual friend who seemed to be going through something. One thing about Goody is that he is every one's sounding board. If anyone has a problem they go to him. And he offers great advice and makes you cry and laugh, and life seems better. When we discussed the recent mood changes in our mutual friend he said something that has stuck with me for a 2 weeks. He said, "They're just having a hard time breaking up with college."

I feel like I've been having a hard time breaking up with college, too. I loved college. I still love college. I liked the schedule, all the people, the busy schedule, I even LIKED going to class and learning new things.There were always events and always people to go with. And now a lot of that is gone.

Here are the 6 Stages of a Break-Up (College Edition):

Stage 1 - Time heals everything: It's normal to have low self-esteem when someone you love leaves you.

This was the first month and a half of teaching. When I had NO clue what I was doing, no idea what they talked about in any of the meetings I went to. I didn't have that same confidence I did in all my college classes or with my college friends. In most faculty meetings or even conversations, I felt like the little kid sitting at the big kids table. College had left me, no actually I left college.. and was in a whole new world.

Stage 2 - Feelings of denial: At this stage, you will probably call your ex many times to question whether the relationship is truly over, or whether there is still a chance that your relationship can be salvaged.

I hit this stage around October, when I went back to College Station for the first time. I remembered all those old feelings of being in college and acting like I didn't have any responsibilities. And then tried to pretend that I was still a college student, with only some minor adult responsibilities. This did not work out well with me.

Stage 3 - Take time off: A lot of people try to rebuild their new broken fragile ego by dating again too soon after a breakup. Stop! You'll only end up damaging yourself even more, as well as the person you are dating.

Late October/Early November- I can pretend to be a UT college student right? I know I don't go to school there, but I can dress up like them, hang out with their students and get the same feelings as being an A&M student all over again. Right? Wrong. And UT doesn't need another fake fan anyways, they have plenty of those.

So I took some time off of my job and of missing college- it was two weeks of Christmas break. Which sadly only added a whole new level of confusion to this break-up. Two weeks off was just like the beginning of Christmas break off during college. Lots of days of sleeping in, being lazy, and that feeling of not worrying about anything. This did not help the break-up stages at all.

Stage 4- Socialize: Meet a lot of new people. Use this time to improve relations with old friends, network, and make new friends. A well-balanced life will lessen the impact of a breakup, because you will still have the other aspects of your life intact, and improved.

I'm almost here... or maybe in the beginning stages. I'm trying to do new things, meet new people, see old friends and trying to get a new balance of being an adult and having a life. And not stop pretending like I'm still in college.

Stage 5- Fall in love: Eventually, as time passes, you will fall in love again. Make sure to let yourself fall in love, and take the time to really let your partner in your life. There is nothing better than a new flame to make you forget an old one.

I like my job, a lot. Sometime soon I will LOVE my job. Even more than I LOVED college.

Stage 6 - Don't set yourself up: Don't get carried away with this new found flame, remember nothing lasts forever and even this new relationship may not weather the test of time. Don't make this person the sole focus of your life, because if it doesn't workout, you'll find yourself right back at Stage 1.

I will take this wise advice and not fall too hard for teaching. I will prepare myself for the worst and hope for the best. But I have no plans of breaking up with teaching anytime soon- I am not ready for these stages. And why would I break up before we even made it to Stage 5? That seems silly.