Education Nation

I have so much to say about how great this year has been. How wonderful it feels to have an idea of what I am doing each day. To understand a few ways to get kids to do actual work. To not be panicked when someone walks into my room to observe me. To have more fun with the kids( who are so, so incredible) then to be stressing over them.

NBC is spending this week discussing Public School systems in our nation, and the things we could improve. I could spend thousands of blog entries talking about what I think is going wrong and how I think we could improve it. But I don't choose to focus my energy just on that. I'd rather focus on the students for right now. I'll tackle all the rest of that stuff later.

Today though, they had a Teacher Town Hall meeting. I watched all of it and agreed and disagreed with everything they talked about. But they also showed this clip of a Dateline from a 2005, that followed a first year teacher.

Check out this great MSN Video: The education of Ms. Groves

(that was the best I could do!)

It was odd to me how quickly I could remember all those horrible feelings. About caring so much, but not really making an impact. Of not knowing what to do or how to get something across in your class. The feeling of having less control, and of being emotional all the time.

Watching the video, was very emotional for me and afterwards the comments from Brian Williams and the other teachers, made me even more emotional.

They focused on the passion they saw from her as a first year teacher and the desire to teach those kids. I often forget that in 2005, when this was made, teaching had never crossed my mind. But in the fall of 2006 and into 2007, teaching became something that weighed heavily on my mind. I was unsure if it was the right path.

Throughout these past 2 years, and even when I began my observations in someone else's class, that doubt has been erased. I feel now that I could never see my life without a career in education in it. Whether it's teaching, or something else- I hope that no day goes by without a student in it (ok.. unless it's summer!)

Sometimes it's hard to think of teaching as a calling, a desire, or a career you are drawn to. But that is 100% how I feel. Whether or not my best is enough is always playing out on my mind. But never once is the idea that I have chosen the wrong path, or that I was not mean to do this, crossed my mind.

What a lucky girl I am.

Sometimes we forget what we got.

I spent all of yesterday cleaning and working on lesson stuff for this week. It's so frustrating to work from 11 AM until 11 PM (more or less) and still have so much to do. It seemed like the grading would never end and I still need to get some things organized for the rest of the week. I want to do things after school and have a life... but I just feel like I should move in to my classroom sometimes.
I had an emotional moment with my mom yesterday- just because I feel like I have no life, and have become a slave to my job. But at the same time when I do things and have a life, I end up feeling so behind. In a way I almost feel guilty for doing things on the weekend or something fun because I know there's something I should be doing for my class.

I'm ready for this to start getting easier- not harder.

Today I had some classroom management problems. My 3rd and 4th period drive me up the wall. I just need to give out some detentions and lay down the law. I just feel like with those 2 groups I have to be mean EVERY SINGLE DAY and other groups I only have to it occasionally.

I've also been devoting most of my weekends to apartment cleaning and organizing- and sadly there' a huge bag of trash waiting of me to take it to the dump. Sometimes I love living alone- when I get home and am tired, I don't have to speak to anyone. Or when I wake up early and I don't have to be quiet or considerate. But then around 8:00 o'clock at night or in the afternoons on the weekend I'm left thinking...."oh, I"m alone again. Still." So i can't decide about next year. I'll revaulate at some point in time I'm sure.

I think I need to slow down a little bit in class too. I feel like I'm running with my students all day long and sometimes I don't feel that way. But when I do feel like I'm rushing through everything I think that my students behavior changes.

I started a Bingo activitiy in class for my TAG students. It will last all week- and at first they seemed not to like it. But once they understood it, I think they really did apperciate it. They wanted to do more than what was on the list. Which was good... I need to look into imagery for them. I'm always rememebering somthing I'm not doing.

I hope this week ends better than it started...