Dear Blog,

I know I have been a failure at posting lately. And when I do post it's not long and has only been pictures. I feel now that there are more people out there reading this, I think 3 more, actually.

All I can say to my blog is that I PROMISE

I really do mean that. It is me, not you at all. I think it actually might be the TAKS test, not really you or me.

Unfortunately they don't make Candy Hearts that say It's Not You, It's the TAKS test.

I have a feeling that it would be very popular with teachers and in middle school relationships everywhere in Texas though. I will contact someone about making those.

Anyways, I will hopefully be back soon and ready to write much more. I don't know how soon or how long away this will be. But I will be back.

This is what the inside of my brain looks like....

seriously. right now. and for every day until March 3rd.

I just can't get you out of my head.

I recently read an article about this band (and this amazing song) in Rolling Stone:

And have quickly gotten it stuck in my head and I can't get it out. I also like how they rhyme horchata with baklava.

The article started with the lead singer talking about his obsession with boarding school that started in his freshman year in Columbia. He said he was in a creative writing class and all the students had to tell something they were interested in writing about. He said, "boarding school" and another student said, "oh did you go to boarding school?" It was then that he realized he was around the socially elite who actually went to boarding school. So he started a band called Vampire Weekend, with some socially elite students. Now Vampire Weekend is the poster-child for preppy hipsters, who like to make fun of the upper class... while actually being upper class.

I become obsessed with boarding school my freshman year of college because of this book:

So basically, the article said, "Abby, you're welcome for introducing you to your new favorite band."

And this blog is my way of saying, "Thanks Rolling Stone.. and Vampire Weekend."

Sometimes you just have to walk away.

I lost a student.

No, I did not lose a student on a fire drill or in the middle of class. And no, don't worry I did not lose a student in the worst kind of way- as far as I know all of my students are perfectly happy and healthy.

Instead, I lost a student to Ohio.

The student moved a week into this semester. He was not my favorite student. He slept a lot in class and had a REALLY atrocious attitude right before Christmas break. He told me several times before the break that he was moving to Ohio during the break and school didn't matter.

The school counselor sent an email that she had called his mom and there were no plans of moving over the break but it might happen later. In a way I was excited to show him a taste of how bad he had treated his teachers before Christmas break. My own sort of revenge against a student.

But he came back and I forgot to be mean. And then he was great. Like a whole new kid in class. Always participating, polite and giving so much effort.

When he moved, I didn't think much of it. I've had other students move. But for the last two weeks- I've been running across papers that still have his name on it or boxes for me to fill in his grades. I have to admit I've been pretty bummed. I feel like he made so much progress and now it's wasted on a language arts teacher in Ohio. And I don't get to see any more of the great student he was becoming.

On Friday, one of my biggest challenges is moving. The student who has probably caused me the most problems all year long. I think losing this student is going to be a lot tougher than the last.

new show.

I will admit that I watch more MTV than the average 23 year old ought to.

I will also admit that most of the shows on MTV, and especially the shows I watch, are horrible televsion.

With all that being said, this still looks pretty good-

(200) Days of Coffee Filters

When I first moved into my apartment and began working I bought coffee filters. For the coffee that I drink every morning that I go to work. There are 200 coffee filters sold in a package.

In my mind, I made a big deal about when the coffee filters ending. Because after that, I will have been working, as an adult, for 200 days. 200 days of working in an adult job sounds like a long time. Like after 200 days of working I would feel and act like a real adult. With a real adult job.

The package of coffee filters end tomorrow. The verdict is still out on whether I feel like a real adult or not.

I would also REALLY like to see this movie:

It's called a break-up because it's broken.

Over winter break I spent some time with my camp friends, including the AMAZING Michael Goodman. We were discussing a mutual friend who seemed to be going through something. One thing about Goody is that he is every one's sounding board. If anyone has a problem they go to him. And he offers great advice and makes you cry and laugh, and life seems better. When we discussed the recent mood changes in our mutual friend he said something that has stuck with me for a 2 weeks. He said, "They're just having a hard time breaking up with college."

I feel like I've been having a hard time breaking up with college, too. I loved college. I still love college. I liked the schedule, all the people, the busy schedule, I even LIKED going to class and learning new things.There were always events and always people to go with. And now a lot of that is gone.

Here are the 6 Stages of a Break-Up (College Edition):

Stage 1 - Time heals everything: It's normal to have low self-esteem when someone you love leaves you.

This was the first month and a half of teaching. When I had NO clue what I was doing, no idea what they talked about in any of the meetings I went to. I didn't have that same confidence I did in all my college classes or with my college friends. In most faculty meetings or even conversations, I felt like the little kid sitting at the big kids table. College had left me, no actually I left college.. and was in a whole new world.

Stage 2 - Feelings of denial: At this stage, you will probably call your ex many times to question whether the relationship is truly over, or whether there is still a chance that your relationship can be salvaged.

I hit this stage around October, when I went back to College Station for the first time. I remembered all those old feelings of being in college and acting like I didn't have any responsibilities. And then tried to pretend that I was still a college student, with only some minor adult responsibilities. This did not work out well with me.

Stage 3 - Take time off: A lot of people try to rebuild their new broken fragile ego by dating again too soon after a breakup. Stop! You'll only end up damaging yourself even more, as well as the person you are dating.

Late October/Early November- I can pretend to be a UT college student right? I know I don't go to school there, but I can dress up like them, hang out with their students and get the same feelings as being an A&M student all over again. Right? Wrong. And UT doesn't need another fake fan anyways, they have plenty of those.

So I took some time off of my job and of missing college- it was two weeks of Christmas break. Which sadly only added a whole new level of confusion to this break-up. Two weeks off was just like the beginning of Christmas break off during college. Lots of days of sleeping in, being lazy, and that feeling of not worrying about anything. This did not help the break-up stages at all.

Stage 4- Socialize: Meet a lot of new people. Use this time to improve relations with old friends, network, and make new friends. A well-balanced life will lessen the impact of a breakup, because you will still have the other aspects of your life intact, and improved.

I'm almost here... or maybe in the beginning stages. I'm trying to do new things, meet new people, see old friends and trying to get a new balance of being an adult and having a life. And not stop pretending like I'm still in college.

Stage 5- Fall in love: Eventually, as time passes, you will fall in love again. Make sure to let yourself fall in love, and take the time to really let your partner in your life. There is nothing better than a new flame to make you forget an old one.

I like my job, a lot. Sometime soon I will LOVE my job. Even more than I LOVED college.

Stage 6 - Don't set yourself up: Don't get carried away with this new found flame, remember nothing lasts forever and even this new relationship may not weather the test of time. Don't make this person the sole focus of your life, because if it doesn't workout, you'll find yourself right back at Stage 1.

I will take this wise advice and not fall too hard for teaching. I will prepare myself for the worst and hope for the best. But I have no plans of breaking up with teaching anytime soon- I am not ready for these stages. And why would I break up before we even made it to Stage 5? That seems silly.