i missed the memo..

and didn't write a Happy Father's Day blog. ooops!

But I read all these other happy fathers day blogs and got a little sad, and a little sorry that I didn't write one myself so here it is!

Happy Fathers Day Dad!

I know this is the ELEVENTH Fathers Day we haven't been together for but I promise my love for summer camp can never trump the love I have for you.

Thank you ford handing me a stack of twenties every time I leave home.

Thank you for putting up with me and my silly requests.

Thanks for teaching me to be exactly like you.

Thanks, Dad, for always being there for me.

I love you.

Are You Lonely Looking for Yourself Out There? pt.2

... and I'm back for more. Here's the last five things that are making me happy!

5. Energy

This may be due to my workouts, or the fact that I've almost completely given up meat and am eating a lot more fresh foods- but who cares, I have so much more energy. When I come home at the end of the day I'm not dying for a nap. I also don't feel like the whole day at school is equal to running a marathon. And that is a Great Feeling.

4. Mrs. H and Mrs. L.

(this is what all teachers look like- sitting at their CLEAN desk, with an apple and smiling all the time)

... and well a lot of other teachers on my team(s). I have met some pretty awesome teachers, who have kept me going all year long. As the year has grown longer, I think our friendship has gone stronger. They help me with school and life. I like to call Mrs. H and Mrs. L my work mom's.. because who doesn't need more than one?

3. Reading

Since I've had a little more time to breathe lately, I have finally gotten back into reading for fun. I had forgotten how great it was to be involved in books and reading. Laura Bush was on Oprah the other day and they talked about how only children can really take to reading because it helps create their own world. I couldn't agree more. Currently on my shelf (0r in my bag, or on my desk, or in my car... or wherever I can read)

2. Great Friends

I have made great new friends in Austin and I am making more and more. I have great friends scattered around the country, too. It's a great feeling knowing there's so many potential friends out there and so many established friends right along with them.

1. The Future

I am counting down the days till the end of school (9) as excitement for a break and excitement for what's next. I feel like next year can only get better-with work, friends and just life in general. The real world has really started and I can't wait for it to get better and better.

Are You Lonely Looking for Yourself Out There? pt.1

I have a lot to complain about. I am excellent at finding something stupid and unnecessary, and then well, complaining about it.

But today

I'm going to share the things that make me happy. The last 2 weeks I've been in a great mood. I haven't been feeling as stressed or disappointed lately and I decided to really think about what has caused a change in my mood. So here it is (or at least half of it):

10. Austin, TX

Austin has stolen my heart lately. If I knew where to send it, I would write it a love letter to Austin at least once a week. I love the people, the places, the food, the music... just everything. I love the city I live in. I could go on for hours, but I don't want to make anyone jealous. Driving over South Congress or even I-35 takes my breath away,every time. Without Fail.

9. My workouts
Ok, this on the list and it is low on the list. I have been trying (key word:trying) to work out at least 5-6 times each week. For the last month, I have hit that goal every single week. Honestly, it's become something I look forward to. When I wake up, when I'm at school, in meetings I am ready to get to the gym and get my workout on (or over with.. but still). I download new tunes to keep me motivated (currently: Sad, Sad City by Ghostland Observatory), I bought a new gym bag and I have no problems packing it at night.

8. Moving

I HATE moving. I hate the idea of packing up all my boxes and everything I own and moving it someplace new. It sounds exhausting... But I am excited to move closer to downtown, have a roommate AND be able to paint the walls any color I want.

7. My students AMAZING projects

I asked my kids to make a Fake Facebook page about a Greek God or Goddess. This is one of the AMAZING examples. They are great.
6. The month of May

I AM loving the extended hours of sunlight, the end of TAKS season,and the closeness of Summer. I feel like I can get more done afterschool (and I have less to do!), the sun is actually up when I leave for school, and I have a HUGE holiday to look forward to.
5. Great Weekends

Above are just a few people I have gotten to see over the past few weekends. My wonderful friends and family have been willing to drive all over Texas (and I have done some driving myself), to see each other. I had the best time with Rachel on S.Congress, annoyed Adam downtown, helped my mother spend money on me, and had a REAL Castroville experience with Brooke. The next few weekends hold even more visitors and traveling, and I can't wait!

Part 2 of the Ten Reasons Why I'm Loving Life Will be Posted Soon!

the only thing that is on my mind.

This is what I am doing right now. NOT working on the Jeopardy game for my students to play tomorrow. Just thinking of things I can write about in my blog, checking old emails, reading every online article I can find... but defiantly NOT working on what needs to be done tomorrow.

I'm so ready for Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday to be over. And also the FOUR weeks after that.

I forsee that my level of procrastination will cause a spike in blog entries.

I have seen the world, and sometimes wish your room had room for 2.

I've spent this weekend hibernating in my apartment. I feel kind of lame for not acting like the socialite I know I can be but I'll be honest here, I've been feeling kind of disappointed.

You know when you're a teenager and you're parents catch you doing something you aren't supposed to be doing? And then they say something like, "I'm not mad. I'm just disappointed in you." And that was the WORST.

I remember one particular incident from high school in which I was grounded forever and could actually feel the waves of disappointment coming off of my parents for weeks. I think I cried every day I was grounded.

Well, this time I am the disappointed one and I am not so happy with humanity.

This week alone, I have experienced:

1. The stupidest lie from a student that involved him lying to me THREE times (this is actually funny and disappointing, there will be a post about it later)

2. A parent that I contacted THREE times about her son failing (which she never returned the calls) show up to harass me about his grade

3. A parent try to involve me in his hostile feelings for his ex-wife and harass me about his sons grade

4. A parent demand I change one of her son's grade

5. A student deface school property

6. Another teacher yell at me because she didn't agree with my teams policy on morning duty

7. A student deface themselves

8. And finally.. a parent blame me for number 5's misbehavior

I have always considered myself an extrovert, which as my friend Rachel describes is someone who is "energized by being around other people." I have never questioned my extrovert status... until now.

There's no way college can prepare you for the feelings you get when people are just flat out rude.

For the last three weeks, I had been feeling so stressed and tense. This week those feelings finally went away and were replaced with this instead.

I hope next week brings something positive.

Some sort of Outlet.

I am frustrated.

and exhausted. and confused. and tired of people. especially people talking to me about education.

I feel like I have 15 bosses, at least. I have a principal, an assistant principal, an instructional coach, a literacy coach, a department chair, a team leader, an inclusion teacher, a mentor, and not to mention all the parents that have something to say.

ALL of those people have an opinion on the best way to teach a class and be a teacher. ALL of those people like to share their ideas with me.

NONE of these educational ideas and theories work with each other.

What they are saying:

"You should teach this reading strategy"

" I always use to teach my kids this..."

" I think if you tried..."

"It would be much better if you..."

"Next time, I would think about..."

"Have you thought about doing it this way....."

"When are you going to teach...."

"You really need to...."

"How does this help students..."

"What are you going to do about...."

"Your letting the students get away with too much...."

"Your too strict with the students...."

"Your class has too much free time...."

" There's never any downtime in your class...."

What I hear:

"YOU'RE DOING EVERYTHING WRONG."

I had been searching for an outlet to let all of this frustration out.

I found working out really, really hard helped.

But then I found something better.

Working out really, really hard to this song. Or driving really, really fast to this song. Or just putting the words really, really in front of something while listening to this song.

(and I get to listen to the musical stylings of Christina Aguilera. There is nothing wrong with that.)

The Last 8 Years of My Life, As Told Through My John Mayer Concerts

The Last 8 Years of My Life, As Told Through My John Mayer Concerts

(warning: this is long. take breaks if you need to)

Have these dreams I’m walking home/Home where it used to be

Everything is as it was/ Frozen in front of me

Park City, Utah

15 years old

I got to drive part of the way to my first John Mayer concert. I was about to be 16, about to start my sophomore year of high school and about to start a new school. I remember the concert was on a ski hill and we (my dad, my best friend Jessica and me) had driven 5 hours to see John Mayer. The mountain air in the summer is something I’ll never forget. With only 300 people there on that ski hill, it felt like we were all sharing the same secret. We all knew about John Mayer and loved his music before anyone else really did.

My dad had heard about JM somewhere and had told me how great this new artist was. I would never admit to liking anything my dad liked, and one day snuck into his office and stole the CD off of his desk, maybe even out of his CD player. I didn’t stop listening to it until he asked for it back. At the concert, I made my dad sit far away from Jessica and I. We stood up front and tried to act older and cooler, separated from a parent anything was possible. After the concert, my dad got us right up to the bus and said he would wait with us until John came out to talk to us. Even then my dad was cooler then I could have dreamed of being.

I wore a white t-shirt and jeans that laced up at the bottom. All I could think about and focus on was that next year of high school. I would finally be able to drive. I would finally get a car that gave me the ultimate freedom that I wanted so badly. But would I like the new school? Would the people there like me? I was relieved that I would have Jessica at my side on that first day of school.

Someday I’ll fly/Someday I’ll soar

Someday I’ll be so damn much more

Bozeman, Montana

17 years old

I had begged for John Mayer tickets for my birthday and my dad had agreed. We spent the whole weekend skiing together in Big Sky. My dad tried again to get us backstage but I didn’t want to press our luck. I had a fever but refused to leave or even sit down at a John Mayer concert.

I was a junior in high school and my 2 best friends were graduating that June. It seemed like my senior year was going to be lonely. I couldn’t stop thinking. What will I do without them? What will I do on the weekends? Who will I eat lunch with?

But my real inner voice, the one I spend so much time ignoring, was asking, “Who will you be without them?”

So scared of getting older/I’m only good at being young

So I play a numbers game to find a way to say that life has just begun

Austin, Texas

19 years old

I had spent all of fall semester looking forward to this concert. It was my first Austin City Limits trip and I was reunited with all my camp friends. The Contiuum CD had come out four days earlier and I had worked like crazy to have all those lyrics memorized. Any free moment I had, my iPod was on repeat; walking to class, studying, in my room, and on my drive to Austin all I could listen to was John.

I had just come back from my first full summer at camp and I was miserable at A&M. I didn’t want to be in the sorority, I didn’t want to be in my apartment and I didn’t want to be stuck in my major anymore. I had just started thinking about changing my major to education and kept flipping the idea over in my mind like a coin. Needless to say, it caused me a lot of angst and that John Mayer CD got me through a lot of it.

And if you never stop when you wave goodbye/ you just might find if you give it time that you just might wave hello again

San Antonio, Texas

20 years old

I asked my dad on a whim if he would take me to yet another John Mayer concert and he loyally said yes. I stood for the whole concert but it seemed like my heart, and john’s, weren’t totally in it. This was the first huge arena I had seen him in and things just weren’t the same.

I had just left camp for my 3^rd summer as a counselor and was about to embark on my first solo road trip. Camp had been great but something hadn’t been right. Things hadn’t clicked into place like they always do when I’m there. I had no idea that my whole idea of camp would change in just one short month. My favorite place in the world was destroyed in just a matter of hours. But that was all after the concert.

I was so nervous and excited about the road trip. I was about to go on a huge cross country road trip by myself. I knew I would get to see so much of the country, see my best friends from high school and learn so much about myself. I had to prove I could take this huge trip by myself and afterwards I felt like I had really grown up.

I’ve got a hammer/ and a heart of glass

I’ve got to know right now/which walls to smash

Austin, Texas

23 years old

This time I wasn’t just visiting the city where John was playing. I lived there; I have a life in Austin now. These were by far the worst seats I’ve ever had, and the most exhausted I've ever been. I sat down through the whole thing.

I wore a white t-shirt and jeans, but I was by no means the same as that 15 year old girl who saw John Mayer in the same outfit. This time when my dad said he wished he had been there, I was thinking how I wished he had been sitting next to me the whole time.

I was sitting what felt like miles away from John but my mind was even farther away, thinking about my students and school. I was upset with their grades and their reactions but I was more upset with myself. How have we almost made it through a whole year and I have not taught them the importance of turning things in on time? How can I fix this problem? How can I get parents on my side and instead of thinking their child is always right?

Now I'm free/ Free Fallin'

As I moved through all these concerts and all these song lyrics, all of my questions have gotten answered. I don’t know what my future questions will be or where they will take place, but I can only hope there will be more John Mayer concerts to help me mark time and see me through it.