We Could have had it all.

My car was broken into this week. I saw the shattered glass lying across my back seat and spilled into the road, looked at it, got into my car, turned the ignition and cried all the way to work.
I cried for a lot of reasons. Reasons like I don't know how to handle situations like that, I feel like I am in a string of bad luck, and I just felt like nothing was going to go right for me.

But mostly I cried because the shattered glass splayed across my car and the road was a strong reminder of what my heart feels like. At times, I can literally feel the shards broken apart rattling  around inside my rib cage. And when I get those questions I hate to answer from a co-worker, or something else seems to go the way I don't want it to I can feel the giant sharp pieces being pulled out of me before I'm ready to let them go.
Each piece of glass poking through my insides has different edges that cut through me. The edges remind me that I don't have a plan for next year. That I will not be there to see my now 8th graders grow into even more mature adults. Reminders that my supportive co-workers will not always be around to support me. It seems like a big chunk of glass tears through me every day.

But what about those small, glittering specks of glass? The tiny one's that you always hurt the most, the one's that always cut your fingers. How long will I be pulling those out of my heart?

One of these things is not like the other.

Capricorn Horoscopes found here
San Francisco band Smash-Up Derby approaches their music-making with a spirit that might be useful for you to emulate in the coming week, Capricorn. Each of their songs is a blend of two famous tunes. Typically, the instrumentalists play a rock song while the singers do a pop hit with a similar chord progression. Imagine hearing the guitars, bass, and drums play Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit" while the lead vocalist croons Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance." The crucial part of their ongoing experiment is that it works. The sound coming from the stage isn't a confusing assault. You could pull off a challenge like that: combining disparate elements with raucous grace. 


So... does this mean combining my hipster, feather hair extension (think ... this ok not that drastic, but still)  with my J.crew ruffle top, pencil skirt and heels today (sort of like...this) today to school?????


OK... i will mix my new hipster style with my old preppy style. and I will make it work. 

# 3: Finding a Page Turner book!

I love, love, LOVE to read. Sometimes I find it hard to squeeze it into my busy schedule and I like when I find a book that I am excited to read each night before I go to bed. I got a Nook for Christmas and have found reading much more interesting because of it. I have read at least 3 books that I've been looking forward to at the end of each day.

BUT IT GETS BETTER. This weekend I found a book that I LITERALLY stopped time with and forgot all about being productive.

It's Young Adult Fiction (surprised? Don't be I'm a 7th grade teacher... meaning I am 12). The main character Sam (Slam, Samuel, Sandwich.. etc), dies on like the 2nd page of the book. She then gets 7 chances to re- live the day and find her purpose. Sam is a bully, and a popular mean girl and she realizes she has to change a lot about who she is and who her friends are to make things better. Very original, non- clichéd endings, and brings up some great questions about how to make each day count and live up to your expectations. Not other people's.

Who needs friends when you have books?

#2

#2 of my new happy hour. CAR FLIRTING.

(Note: This is not what I look like whilst Car Flirting)

This wonderfully, amazing experience has happened to me twice in the past two days. I love car flirting for multiple reasons. You don't have to talk to the person. Well sometimes you do but it's short. You don't owe them anything. You have very little time, so that means there is less time for awkward moments. You can get a good judge of character based off what they drive. It's an instant mood/ego booster. It's free. Except for the gas your burning up and the ozone layers you are ruining at that stop light. But who needs clean air when you are CAR FLIRTING???

And the best part:

THERE IS A ZERO PERCENT CHANCE OF IT GOING ANYWHERE.

which means there is no pressure at all. I mean I have never once heard any couple start their adorable 'how we met' story with " Well we were both in our cars... at a stop light...."

I'm sure there are people out there like that, but I haven't met them yet. Until then, I'll keep my car flirting up.

(This is more accurate idea of what I would like whilst Car Flirting. If it was legal to drive backwards, facing away from the road)

(p.s. just found this website so that you can stalk your car flirt Quick Car Flirting. com, It's for real)

Trying Something New

Inspired by this blog I am going to try something new. I am going to try really, really hard to search for something funny, awesome and HAPPY every few days. I will try to take pictures, tell stories and just find something that makes me happy. So here is to my new Happy Hour.

#1: Doing something stupid. in front of people that love you.

This weekend I went back to San Antonio to see my parents and celebrate my cousin's fifth birthday. My mom made a wonderful dinner for us, and I took a great nap and woke up ready to eat.

As soon as I sat down, I made eye contact with the bread basket and went for it. Didn't think about much except how good it would taste. I went for it, dove in, took a huge roll and started to put it in my mouth.

At that point my mom says, "Wait! That whole thing isn't for you."

There were only 2 rolls in the basket.... and there are three people in my family.

Oops. After tearing off the part that had been in my mouth, we had a good laugh.

I like when I can do stupid stuff. And not regret it later.

rarr.

That's all you get. for now.

What's in your bag?

I saw a cute post about what's in your bag? and well... imitation is the sincerity form of flattery?? Here's hoping!

1. 2.3.

4. 5.6.

1. Droid- Duh. I love it. It sometimes loves me? Lately it seems more interested in putting people on mute while I'm talking to them. But does it send me e-mails about when my Faculty Meetings are?? Yes!

2. Highlighter with Tabs- DOUBLE Duh. I like to annotate. I like to mark things. I like to highlight important literature quotes. Esp. from all young adult novels I come across.

3. Moleskin Notebook- I'm a great reader. I'm working on becoming a better writer. I have felt inspired to write stuff down lately- but had no where to do it! I hope the Moleskin solves this problem.

4. Salbito Pens- More or less amazing colorful, fine point pens that my roomie got for me in England. I have to be able to write in that Moleskin right??

5. Koozie- In all honesty, I have two koozie's in my purse. A Deep Eddy Koozie, and a Tito's Koozie. While neither looks like the one in the picture, they both mention Austin.

6. Peace Sign Magnet- Brooke gave me this wonderful magnet that fits me so well and it has been very slowly making it's way to my fridge. That it is even in my house is a miracle!

Education Nation

I have so much to say about how great this year has been. How wonderful it feels to have an idea of what I am doing each day. To understand a few ways to get kids to do actual work. To not be panicked when someone walks into my room to observe me. To have more fun with the kids( who are so, so incredible) then to be stressing over them.

NBC is spending this week discussing Public School systems in our nation, and the things we could improve. I could spend thousands of blog entries talking about what I think is going wrong and how I think we could improve it. But I don't choose to focus my energy just on that. I'd rather focus on the students for right now. I'll tackle all the rest of that stuff later.

Today though, they had a Teacher Town Hall meeting. I watched all of it and agreed and disagreed with everything they talked about. But they also showed this clip of a Dateline from a 2005, that followed a first year teacher.

Check out this great MSN Video: The education of Ms. Groves

(that was the best I could do!)

It was odd to me how quickly I could remember all those horrible feelings. About caring so much, but not really making an impact. Of not knowing what to do or how to get something across in your class. The feeling of having less control, and of being emotional all the time.

Watching the video, was very emotional for me and afterwards the comments from Brian Williams and the other teachers, made me even more emotional.

They focused on the passion they saw from her as a first year teacher and the desire to teach those kids. I often forget that in 2005, when this was made, teaching had never crossed my mind. But in the fall of 2006 and into 2007, teaching became something that weighed heavily on my mind. I was unsure if it was the right path.

Throughout these past 2 years, and even when I began my observations in someone else's class, that doubt has been erased. I feel now that I could never see my life without a career in education in it. Whether it's teaching, or something else- I hope that no day goes by without a student in it (ok.. unless it's summer!)

Sometimes it's hard to think of teaching as a calling, a desire, or a career you are drawn to. But that is 100% how I feel. Whether or not my best is enough is always playing out on my mind. But never once is the idea that I have chosen the wrong path, or that I was not mean to do this, crossed my mind.

What a lucky girl I am.

iPod Serial Killer

I am an iPod serial killer.

iPod serial

killer

1. A person who commits multiple (more than two) iPod murders, especially similar ones with no obvious motive over a period of time

The most important thing I look for in an iPod (or iPods) is a name. It doesn't matter the shape. The size. The amount of music played. The songs on it. All that matters is it has a name.

The first brick of an iPod I had was named Pancho. It was about 3 inches thick and weighed about the same. It lost it's life to one too many skiing trip accidents and a dead battery. It was tough to watch him go, but he lived a long life. The longest of all my iPods. Almost 3 years and I understood that his time was up.

Next was Lefty. Lefty and I never saw eye to eye. In part because he was my mom's old iPod and couldn't understand my style of listening to music and in part because he knew he was Pancho's sloppy second.Lefty resides in Fort Worth with my uncle now. Good riddance, is all I have to say.

Jr. was a present for getting good grades. I worked my butt off studying and he was the sweet surprise at the end of the year. I named him after my year in school. He will always be my favorite iPod, sleek, black and played videos (finally!!). I loved him because of the reward he represented. The constant reminder that I worked hard and deserved nice things. Jr will always have a spot in my heart. I don't even remember how he died. Maybe of overuse and a dead battery. But I blocked the memory out of my mind.

Next came DUKE. I had the hardest time thinking of his name. Duke was bought with my own money online, off of E-Bay. He looked and felt just like Jr. I still get the two of them mixed up in my mind. He lasted a few years but his battery kept going off and on. He was a re-bound iPod. My mind and heart missed Jr. too much to really care about Duke. My dad tried to change out his battery and he reached an untimely death. I wasn't there to see it happen. Or to see him thrown in the trash.

White House came while I still had Duke. White House is like my dysfunctional family member. We have a love and hate relationship. Sometimes it annoys me to no end and I just give up on music for the day. But I always come back to it. White House lives in my car, always plugged in to a charger because it would die otherwise. White House goes to the gym with me and has driven me across Round Rock, Austin and all over Texas. White House keeps me upbeat and energetic, even if his battery dies when I need him most. I can't stay mad for long.

My newest iPod is that perfect, goody two shoes that I get sick of. DARTH VADER.

He's so... dependable. Always there playing what I want to hear. When my alarm goes off at 5:37 AM, there he is, playing John Mayer. When he goes off again at 5:45 he's back playing more soothing wake up music. Just like I asked him to.

I'm over it.

Maybe I'm scared to form any attachment to him because I know he'll end up like the rest- in the trash can. Or at the very least, like White House, dysfunctional and breaking down all the time.

Maybe I'll start to like him, one day. But until then I'll keep thinking of names for iPod Number 7.

My Name is Memory.

I assigned my TAG kids homework for every night of the week. From now until the end of the year.

30 minutes of reading a night, 3 reader responses a week

But I promised I would do it with them.

Here's my first response.

"Who Do you think of when you hear smashing glass and screaming? That's a telling question."

-Ann Brashares

I like the idea that there are certain things that tell you the answers to your personality, to your soul. I wish it was as simple as that. Yes's and No's, and absolutes.

These things are always true- or these things are never true.

Who would I think of? My mom, my dad. The other people in the room?

At school, my students. Past and present. Teaching has put my safety net on high- alert. Being nervous about someone' s well being comes naturally now. Especially a child's safety, even if they aren't mine.

If they let me into part of their life for 50 minutes a day, don't I get to worry about them always?

My Weekend in Pictures

I had a GREAT first week of school and an equally great weekend.

My favorite band, Nelo, came into town.

My best friend, Brooke, came into town.

Another best friend, Adam, is finally moved into town.

And I got to celebrate it all!

At NELO!

West 6th after NELO

Swimming at Deep Eddy.

The Classic Hook Em.

Andrew, Brooke, me and Adam downtown

Lake Austin.

Dancing at Annie's West.

Finally, something that added to my night.. Brooke was involved in a dance off that resulted in this:

She still looks good even though her drink was spilled ALL OVER HER.

P.S. Thanks to the roomie for teaching me how to make my pics look better!

(and for taking this ADORABLE picture with me)

back to school.

it's 1015. and I am in bed. And wish i was sleeping.

But I decided to post instead- however this will be brief.

I am so tired and forgot how draining it is to stand and talk all day.

I had two kids in one of my classes commit some minor classroom problems- that wouldn't bother me that much on any day of the year- but really got under my skin on the FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL.

Because of this it tinted my view of my first day of school. And to not a kind of view I wanted.

HOWEVER... I keep forgetting this one amazing thing about my day that trumps the two beginning trouble makers.

Last Friday, when a bunch of students where picking up their schedules and walking by their teacher's rooms, I met one of my students who actually talked my ear off. He seemed sweet but I was a little busy setting things up and was distracted. We did briefly discuss the Lightning Thief and Percy Jackson series, and I mentioned that I wanted to read the 2nd one but didn't have a copy.

The first thing he does when he walks into my class today? HANDS ME THE 2nd BOOK IN THE SERIES!

That made me beyond happy. I can't wait to start reading!

Where I'm From

I have looked for this EVERYWHERE and finally found it.

I wrote this poem in 7th grade and then updated it in high school. It's still pretty accurate.

Where I’m From

I’m from dance classes

From dancing in any place that had enough room

I’m from swim lessons at the neighborhood pool

From counting the days till summer and swimming would start

I’m from parents who hardly had enough time at one point

And then having too much time later on

I’m from the stories of when Jessie was my age

And her father always telling her, “Jessie Bell, children are seen and not heard.”

From her telling me she always wants to hear what I say

I’m from private schools and uniforms everyday

I’m from church every weekday, but not on Sundays

I’m from the hymns that were my favorites and my mother’s favorites

I’m from stories I don’t even remember

From jumping off the couch just to go to bed

I’m from the song my dad made up just for me

From the words I hoped to hear him sing before I went to sleep

If I could write a letter to me....

I have been getting so (nervous? excited? pumped? apprehensive?) who knows- about the upcoming school year, that I've started doing some lesson planning.

The first unit deals with The Readers/Writers Notebook and I was trying to think of ways to get kids sort of excited about their writing and inspiration struck (Inspiration came in the form of googling "Writers Notebook Ideas")

But one idea was to have kids write a letter about themselves, and about their future year. And I have tons of ideas of how I want my students to write these letters, but that's not what I'm interested in writing about here . (and what if future students is reading this? I don't want to ruin the surprise! PSYCH- I don't really want future students or any students reading this)

SO to sort of kick this off I wrote a letter to my 7th Grade Self. Here it is.

Dear Abby,

7^th grade seems like it’s starting off so great. Your parents let you go to that N*sync Concert the night before your first day of school. You could of sworn Justin Timberlake, was looking right at you and your best friend Carmen. Who knew he would still be famous now?

This year might be rough for you- but on the bright side things will go waaay uphill. But not for a few more years, you have a lot to learn about yourself and the people around you.

My first piece of advice, is to think carefully of who your friends are. I know that Carmen, Rosa and you are inseperable right now. But ask yourself this question, did you get in more trouble before or after you started hanging out with them? They are good friends to have, but you can find even better friends, who will ALWAYS have your back.

My second piece of advice, is to TRY HARDER in school! You’re a pretty smart kid- but it’s hard to keep up with the other kids at your school. You probably will never get 100 in Algebra, and Mrs. Mika may never like your writing. But if you actually tried harder on your homework and paid more attention in class, you would start getting grades that you were proud of. And in the end, your opinion of yourself is the only thing that counts.

My last big piece of advice is this, WAKE UP. There are so many wonderful, amazing things around you all the time. It’s so easy to let all of them pass you by. Your brain is always somewhere else, and you never seem focused on what’s in front of you- only on what’s next. You are incredibly lucky, your parents aren’t so bad, and you’ve got so much to appreciate. And you will appreciate it, when you finally learn to notice it.

Here are a few minor pieces of advice, but pay attention they will help you now and when you’re older (like now!):

That guy is dumb, and is always playing games. Move on.

Spend less time online, and more time outside. Your happier when you aren't always in front of a screen!

Your parents really don’t want the worst for you, although it seems like it.

Be careful what you wish for, it won’t always come out the way you want it to.

Open your mind to new ideas and new things. New friends don’t mean their bad or worse than your other friends. It just means their new.

Always stay loyal, trusting and looking for the good in people. It is one of your best traits and can only take you farther.

If you know it’s wrong, don’t do it.

Good luck, and I promise things are always getting better!

Always,

Abby Green

PS: Take out those purple contacts, be happy with the eye color you have, it suits you.

Do You Remember When....?

Do you remember when I had a blog and I actually updated it?

Do you remember when I actually had things to say?

Usually, I know I want to write about something when it sits in my mind for about a week. It sits there, and gnaws at me until I have to get it all down. I don't ever know what direction it will go in- but I still know that it needs to start going somewhere.

Lately my mind has looked like the bunch of silly bands on my wrist.

When I pull them off my wrist, one by one, you can see each thing clearly and individually.

A pig

A turtle

The United States

A Statue of Liberty

A Crescent Moon

A Bucking Bronco

I always know what each band will turn out to be.

Together, though, they seem confusing. Singularly it's all clear.

Just like all the things running through my mind.

i missed the memo..

and didn't write a Happy Father's Day blog. ooops!

But I read all these other happy fathers day blogs and got a little sad, and a little sorry that I didn't write one myself so here it is!

Happy Fathers Day Dad!

I know this is the ELEVENTH Fathers Day we haven't been together for but I promise my love for summer camp can never trump the love I have for you.

Thank you ford handing me a stack of twenties every time I leave home.

Thank you for putting up with me and my silly requests.

Thanks for teaching me to be exactly like you.

Thanks, Dad, for always being there for me.

I love you.

Are You Lonely Looking for Yourself Out There? pt.2

... and I'm back for more. Here's the last five things that are making me happy!

5. Energy

This may be due to my workouts, or the fact that I've almost completely given up meat and am eating a lot more fresh foods- but who cares, I have so much more energy. When I come home at the end of the day I'm not dying for a nap. I also don't feel like the whole day at school is equal to running a marathon. And that is a Great Feeling.

4. Mrs. H and Mrs. L.

(this is what all teachers look like- sitting at their CLEAN desk, with an apple and smiling all the time)

... and well a lot of other teachers on my team(s). I have met some pretty awesome teachers, who have kept me going all year long. As the year has grown longer, I think our friendship has gone stronger. They help me with school and life. I like to call Mrs. H and Mrs. L my work mom's.. because who doesn't need more than one?

3. Reading

Since I've had a little more time to breathe lately, I have finally gotten back into reading for fun. I had forgotten how great it was to be involved in books and reading. Laura Bush was on Oprah the other day and they talked about how only children can really take to reading because it helps create their own world. I couldn't agree more. Currently on my shelf (0r in my bag, or on my desk, or in my car... or wherever I can read)

2. Great Friends

I have made great new friends in Austin and I am making more and more. I have great friends scattered around the country, too. It's a great feeling knowing there's so many potential friends out there and so many established friends right along with them.

1. The Future

I am counting down the days till the end of school (9) as excitement for a break and excitement for what's next. I feel like next year can only get better-with work, friends and just life in general. The real world has really started and I can't wait for it to get better and better.

Are You Lonely Looking for Yourself Out There? pt.1

I have a lot to complain about. I am excellent at finding something stupid and unnecessary, and then well, complaining about it.

But today

I'm going to share the things that make me happy. The last 2 weeks I've been in a great mood. I haven't been feeling as stressed or disappointed lately and I decided to really think about what has caused a change in my mood. So here it is (or at least half of it):

10. Austin, TX

Austin has stolen my heart lately. If I knew where to send it, I would write it a love letter to Austin at least once a week. I love the people, the places, the food, the music... just everything. I love the city I live in. I could go on for hours, but I don't want to make anyone jealous. Driving over South Congress or even I-35 takes my breath away,every time. Without Fail.

9. My workouts
Ok, this on the list and it is low on the list. I have been trying (key word:trying) to work out at least 5-6 times each week. For the last month, I have hit that goal every single week. Honestly, it's become something I look forward to. When I wake up, when I'm at school, in meetings I am ready to get to the gym and get my workout on (or over with.. but still). I download new tunes to keep me motivated (currently: Sad, Sad City by Ghostland Observatory), I bought a new gym bag and I have no problems packing it at night.

8. Moving

I HATE moving. I hate the idea of packing up all my boxes and everything I own and moving it someplace new. It sounds exhausting... But I am excited to move closer to downtown, have a roommate AND be able to paint the walls any color I want.

7. My students AMAZING projects

I asked my kids to make a Fake Facebook page about a Greek God or Goddess. This is one of the AMAZING examples. They are great.
6. The month of May

I AM loving the extended hours of sunlight, the end of TAKS season,and the closeness of Summer. I feel like I can get more done afterschool (and I have less to do!), the sun is actually up when I leave for school, and I have a HUGE holiday to look forward to.
5. Great Weekends

Above are just a few people I have gotten to see over the past few weekends. My wonderful friends and family have been willing to drive all over Texas (and I have done some driving myself), to see each other. I had the best time with Rachel on S.Congress, annoyed Adam downtown, helped my mother spend money on me, and had a REAL Castroville experience with Brooke. The next few weekends hold even more visitors and traveling, and I can't wait!

Part 2 of the Ten Reasons Why I'm Loving Life Will be Posted Soon!

the only thing that is on my mind.

This is what I am doing right now. NOT working on the Jeopardy game for my students to play tomorrow. Just thinking of things I can write about in my blog, checking old emails, reading every online article I can find... but defiantly NOT working on what needs to be done tomorrow.

I'm so ready for Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday to be over. And also the FOUR weeks after that.

I forsee that my level of procrastination will cause a spike in blog entries.