This World Keeps Spinning Faster.

I just looked up a new teacher forum and started to read some of the posts. It was good to see some people struggling as well, and good to know some people have it worse than me!

One teacher said that the other teachers are rude to her, and say things like "we hope we get used to working with you" or "are you friends with the admin? We thought that was how you got hired"

Thank goodness I don't have to deal with that! I would be miserable. I think that would make me even more upset.

At some times I think it would be nice to be better friends with the other teachers and make a bigger effort with them. But then most of the time I think, I don't have time to stop and try to be their friend. I'll try next year! I would rather focus on the important stuff that is getting me from day to day. Just for right now. I can be live without a life for a year. maybe.

And a lot of the other people were having the same problems I am. Which was nice to see that it's not just me.

I should go make a binder for my lesson plans... and I should grade something for my TAG kids.

But I have lost a lot of momentum and interest in grading. I need to get it back!

I had to teach some grammar today.... No one should trust me with their child and grammar together.

The new John Mayer single is wonderful though!

I am sinking, merely sinking

Tomorrow is my first EVVVVVER substitue teacher!!!

While I will be in the building... I'm still undeniably nervous. I think my kids will be off the wall. I will have notes left behind detailing the substitue's day at the zoo, not in a classroom. I fear nothing will get done and when I pick up my student's Personal Narrative's on Tuesday, they will be awful. I mean really rotten.

But I think I need to do that to them. Let them see how NOT working in class effects them. And some of them it won't affect at all. But for the one's it does affect (or for their parents that it affects) hopefully it will help.

I think on Monday I am going to try a few new things in class. dealing with classroom management. Nothing big. And not that anything is THAT bad. But I want to try something new.

I am glad this week is over, and can't wait to see that paycheck.

2 more weeks till College Station with Yvette. Can't wait.

And the UT game this weekend.. I can't believe I will be wearing burnt orange somewhere!

I am sinking, merely sinking

Today my kids and I were speaking another language.

And so we'll try it again. A different way tomorrow.

I am so exhausted lately.

I've stopped sleeping at night. I miss sleeping at night. I lie awake thinking of verb tenses, students who won't turn in their work and all the endless things I need to do.

I like sleeping at night. I like feeling rested. I'm trying to get any sleep I can get. Which ends up being between 630-730 pm. And then I feel bad about myself.

I can make it to the end of this week. Two more days! and then I'll make next week better. I hope.

What Teachers Make

I had to complete the 3 good surprises, and the 3 bad surprises of teaching for the grad school class I'm getting credit for. Here's what they are so far....

Good Surprises have included:
1. Parent involvement, they have been very supportive and stayed in touch as much as needed. They are always willing to help and have even offered to buy things for my class!
2. How much support there is in the school system- I have at times felt like there was almost too much support. Everyone is willing to help out all the times and is willing to give you anything they have to help you.
3. The students, that on paper seem like they will be the most difficult, behavior problems, ESL or SPED are willing to work hard, you just have to find the best way to reach them. And that hasn’t been too hard yet!

Big Surprises that have been hard to work with:
1. The paper- there is paper everywhere! Making copies, receiving copies, paperwork, the paper handed back into me from students, the endless amounts of forms to keep track of. The amount of dead trees just never seems to end! And it’s becoming difficult to have a place for all of it to go.
2. Meetings, it seems that the meetings match the endless amounts of paper in the classroom. I have meetings before school, after school, in between school and it cuts into the planning time, grading time and any extra time you have. Along with the endless amount of time spent meeting- is the education acronyms that go along with everything described in the meetings. They are hard to keep up, hard to understand and no one takes the time to explain them.
3. Professional Development: Before school I spent at least 2 solid weeks in training for new teachers, training for old teachers and there is more to come as the year goes on. It is surprising how much of the content in the professional development is repeated and is simple common knowledge. It seems those two weeks would have been better spent working on the actual lessons I was teaching and setting up my classroom.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDFjyh0R3rw

This reminds of me what my life is like now.

sometimes we forget who we are

I never want to have a half day ever again!

I hated every moment of it. It was awful. Ok that's not totally true.

It started off with a meeting with our Assitant Principal, all the other 7th grade language arts teachers and our department head. I walked in thinking that the meeting was about one thing and it turned out to be about something completly different. It only took me about 10 minutes to figure that part out. And then another 10 minutes to figure out what they were even talking about... and the meeting was only 30 minutes.

I've been in two meetings in the last two days where I've understood probably 20% of what they were talking about. At the end I walk out of the meeting confused and wondering what else I have to work on. There are TOO many acroynms in education for me to even come close to understand what people are saying.

In my team meeting yesterday, we talked about students and progress reports and our SPED(Special Education Inclusion) teacher had so many questions about her students and they were all just for me. I felt like I had done literally everything wrong and everyone was staring at me waiting for me to explain. I felt awful at the time but I have it all fixed now.

One plus from yesterday is that our principal came and obsevered me for the 2nd time (in two weeks) and this evaluation was better than the last! I guess as long as things are getting better.

Right now I've been thinking of teaching as a moving river. Everyday it's like I jump in at a different point and the river is completly different each time. It's either running perfectly, or choppy and hard to get through. And I never know what to expect.

I need to go prepare for tomorrow.. I feel like i"m getting farther behind where I need to be, also. But right now I don't see that as a huge problem. At least not yet....

Even though this week hasn't been as bad as I've made this seem... I'm ready for this week to be over!

Sometimes we forget what we got.

I spent all of yesterday cleaning and working on lesson stuff for this week. It's so frustrating to work from 11 AM until 11 PM (more or less) and still have so much to do. It seemed like the grading would never end and I still need to get some things organized for the rest of the week. I want to do things after school and have a life... but I just feel like I should move in to my classroom sometimes.
I had an emotional moment with my mom yesterday- just because I feel like I have no life, and have become a slave to my job. But at the same time when I do things and have a life, I end up feeling so behind. In a way I almost feel guilty for doing things on the weekend or something fun because I know there's something I should be doing for my class.

I'm ready for this to start getting easier- not harder.

Today I had some classroom management problems. My 3rd and 4th period drive me up the wall. I just need to give out some detentions and lay down the law. I just feel like with those 2 groups I have to be mean EVERY SINGLE DAY and other groups I only have to it occasionally.

I've also been devoting most of my weekends to apartment cleaning and organizing- and sadly there' a huge bag of trash waiting of me to take it to the dump. Sometimes I love living alone- when I get home and am tired, I don't have to speak to anyone. Or when I wake up early and I don't have to be quiet or considerate. But then around 8:00 o'clock at night or in the afternoons on the weekend I'm left thinking...."oh, I"m alone again. Still." So i can't decide about next year. I'll revaulate at some point in time I'm sure.

I think I need to slow down a little bit in class too. I feel like I'm running with my students all day long and sometimes I don't feel that way. But when I do feel like I'm rushing through everything I think that my students behavior changes.

I started a Bingo activitiy in class for my TAG students. It will last all week- and at first they seemed not to like it. But once they understood it, I think they really did apperciate it. They wanted to do more than what was on the list. Which was good... I need to look into imagery for them. I'm always rememebering somthing I'm not doing.

I hope this week ends better than it started...

36min. is not enough for lunch... and yet almost too much

School is great! My 3rd period class was really bad in the library yesterady so I gave them the "you know better than this, I'm dissapointed in you, some of your freedoms are getting taken away" talk. Instead of yelling i tried the just show them how sad i am they can't behave in the library. I'll let you know the outcome...

4th and 6th period drive me up a walll cause they talk so much- but they are good kids. So we laugh about it but still i try to get onto them.

I love my 8th period.. they are gifted and talented and I'm having a hard time teaching to them. But they are really fun to work with.

I did a parent assignment for the parents to send me a letter (in a million words or less.. HOPEFULLY LESS) to describe their son/daughter to me as a student and as a person.

The responses have been so sweet, funny and well written. Some have even made me cry because they all just love their kids so much! It makes me think about how I would want a teacher to think about my kid as well. I've loved the assignment so much and getting to read what parents have to say. Most parents email me and I have 13 pages saved of their notes.

Besides school life is good.. because their is little life besides school. I'm trying to go hiking after school at a park near my house. It's full of mountain bikers and has confusing trails but it's fun to be outside and hiking in something that isn't flat. I've been trying to make it out there... and by trying I mean I fell asleep at 5:30 on my couch by accident. I've been twice and hopefully one more time today!

I'm going home for labor day weekend!

A few of my camp friends are going to 6th street on friday night and invited me. But I think I'll pass to spend time with the family instead...

and spend time grading!